There was this one time, on summer holiday, when I said no to ice cream.

ME! Can you imagine?

If there were a public service campaign that was less Say Yes to Hugs not Drugs, and more Say Yes to Hugs AND Ice Cream AND impulse online purchases - I'd be the poster child! I love saying yes. I love instant gratification. I love jumbo hits of dopamine.

But, I’d had enough drives back from Prince Edward Island with heartburn, a sinus infection, and a bloat-y hard stomach pushing against my pants to decide that I wanted to TRY doing things differently that summer.

I was scared. What would a summer of only slow-grown, artisanally crafted (vs the kind that's shot into my vein via Netflix or ice cream or social media) dopamine look like?

Would I survive? Would I die of boredom or a yet-to-be-discovered ice cream deprivation-induced scurvy?

Clear on what hadn't been working, I started my very risky experiment figuring out how I WANTED to feel in my body. Next, I jotted down some gentle parameters around my eating - making sure that I always had more than enough to eat and feel deeply satisfied while limiting foods that I know feel bad in my body.

The parameters I set:

Limit late night eating
Limit sugar early in the day
Limit Ice cream

The parameters were based off the food behaviours that had spiralled most often in the past, when I was on holiday. Lots of late nights eating and having drinks. Muffins, croissants, banana bread and the occasional cookie for breakfast, as well as treats all through the day. Ice cream, almost every. single. day. I have no issues enjoying any of these foods but their effects, when layered on top of each other, week after week, while on holiday, would increase exponentially. And in the end I'd be a hot mess. So here we were. Parameters set.

I allowed myself to break one rule per day, 5 days a week. Meaning: If I were going to be up late eating - there'd be no sugar early in the day or ice cream. If we were having cinnamon buns for breakfast, I'd not eat late that night or have ice cream. Etc. The parameters were very loose and left room for enjoyment but I was being intentional about how far I was going each day.

The first week of the trip was easy - I’d said no to ice cream a few times already (and I’d said yes once). I was feeling great in my body and empowered by my ability to choose to eat or not eat in certain ways. But for some reason, 10 days into the trip, saying no to ice cream after a big delicious dinner, touched on a sore spot. A diet history bruise, if you will.

And I started to feel deprived.

Like a victim.

Like I was a no-fun, fuddy-duddy who was being cut off from all the family connection and joy because I said no to a scoop of frozen cow milk.

And I had to check in - WAS I deprived?

Was I falling into old diet habits?

I wandered around the inside of my terrifying mind to check the facts and discovered that I was - much to my surprise - NOT deprived.

I'd had more than enough to eat that day and was comfortably full after dinner
I had access to other sweet things to satisfy that sweet urge, if I wanted them
And - the biggest thing of all - I could eat the ice cream if I really wanted to

But I didn't.

I wasn't deprived, I was making a choice.

The choice to wake up without a stomach ache. To keep my digestion moving healthfully. To not be more susceptible to colds and flus and the dreaded sinusitis (as I am when I eat too much dairy). I would've LOVED to eat some ice cream but what I wanted even more than that was to feel GOOD. So I made a choice and I managed the discomfort of saying to no to a short-term urge, as I honoured my long-term goals.

But let me tell you - from old restrictive, diet-y days, to full permission "intuitive" eating days, to being able to make this kind of choice - with the right motivation AND manage the discomfort that comes up... well, there's been a lot of wheeling and dealing and HEALING that's needed to happen to make it all possible.

This is the skill needed to make choices for your blood sugar or blood pressure or [insert other health condition] with maturity and confidence. The skill needed to manage the way you might use food when stressed out or emotional.

It's a really important skill.

Do you feel like you have the ability to make choices for the right reasons?

To manage the old stories and sore spots that pop up, when you do?

Hit reply and tell me about it. I'd love to hear.

Jill